


Dwight's Island

by cc tinslebee (Doitlikeagreaser)



Category: The Office (US)
Genre: A frequent and pesky misunderstanding between "sails" and "sales", A little out of character but not too much, Alternate Universe - Shipwrecked, Bisexual Male Character, Co-workers, Crack Treated Seriously, Cross-Generation Relationship, Cross-Generational Friendship, Desert Island Fic, F/M, Gen, Inspired by Gilligan's Island, M/M, Misunderstandings, Multi, Other, Pam and Jim are being nice to him so they can avoid conflict okay?, Polyamorous Character, References to Gilligan's Island, Ryan is less selfish in this fic so that should be noted, Season/Series 08, Talk about Generations, Y'know because it's a paper company
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:15:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23623738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doitlikeagreaser/pseuds/cc%20tinslebee
Summary: One of Andy's acts as Regional Manager of the Dunder Mifflin Scranton branch is to take the younger employees out on a boat ride in hopes of boosting their morale with team building. This, as most things in the office, doesn't go as well as the nine passengers would have liked when the intended three hour tour leads to them getting stranded on a deserted island. Friendships strengthen and relationships develop as the nine castaways try to survive their first official night on the island -- and each other.(Note: Chapter Three has been edited/updated for content as of 15 April, 2020)
Relationships: Andy Bernard & Dwight Schrute, Andy Bernard/Erin Hannon, Angela Martin/Dwight Schrute, Erin Hannon & Kelly Kapoor, Jim Halpert & Dwight Schrute, Jim Halpert & Ryan Howard, Pam Beesly & Ryan Howard, Pam Beesly/Jim Halpert, Pam Beesly/Jim Halpert/Ryan Howard, Ryan Howard & Kelly Kapoor
Comments: 14
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

Andy marveled at the seaside port, his hand resting on his upper forehead in an attempt to keep the sun out of his eyes. “There’s nothing quite like being out in the fresh, ocean air with all of your buddies.”

Angela pulled at her floppy sun hat in agitation, “What are we even doing here?”

“We’re having a nice, little company outing to build our teamwork as the youngest employees at our branch!” Andy chirped. “Come on! This’ll be fun! Michael did these things all the time! Besides, we really need to improve on the relationships we have with each other. You would not _believe_ how rough it can get in that office with everyone at each other's throats.”

“Try me,” Dwight huffed.

“Andy,” Pam piped up, “You said that this trip was for the younger employees?”

“That’s right, Peter Pam!” Andy replied, excitedly.

“So why is Creed here?” she asked, pointing towards the man in question.

The cameraman zoomed in on Creed, who was a little further back on the docks as he waved over to them upon somehow managing to hear his name.

“Oh. That,” Andy peered over the others to look at the older man. “Well, he said that there really wasn’t any proof that he _wasn’t_ a Millennial, which was a weird comment to make. But he seemed really excited to come and I really needed that considering what a bummer you guys are being.”

 _“He’s right,” Creed told the cameras later, “You can’t prove it._ I _can’t even prove it even if I wanted to.”_

Pam sighed in submission, “Okay.”

“And what about Oscar, Kevin, and Gabe?” Ryan asked, suddenly behind Jim and Pam as he lugged half of Kelly’s luggage with him.

“Oscar offered to cover for me, Kevin didn’t want to come, and…” Andy shuddered, “Well, who wants Gabe around anyway?”

“I thought you said that this trip was to better our relationship with one another?” Pam retorted good-naturedly.

“Because we were 'at each other’s throats,'” Ryan added wisely.

Pam looked back at Ryan gratefully and nodded before looking back to Andy, grinning, “Exactly.”

“It’s not a perfect system,” Andy refuted. “Besides, there’s only so much space on the boat. I was lucky enough to get the nine of us a boat; any more would have been anarchy.”

“You could have just invited Gabe and not brought Creed,” Ryan remarked snidely.

_“Hey,” Ryan offered to the cameras, “Someone’s got to be the know-it-all, sassy, non-heterosexual around here. Oscar’s back at the office and it’s certainly not going to be any of these guys.”_

Andy began to stutter in response before his eyes fell on something in front of them. “Look, guys! It’s the boat!”

Andy’s co-workers looked at one another in confusion as he bounded over to the vessel. The crew continued doing their jobs, unbothered by the sudden disturbance.

“Hey, look!” Andy exclaimed. “It’s called the Minnow! You know, like _Gilligan’s Islan d ?”_

Erin came out from behind Kelly and Ryan on the docks, hurrying past them to catch up with their boss. “That’s amazing, Andy! How did you manage that?”

“Well, you know,” Andy conceded pridefully, “A boss has his ways.”

 _“I had no idea that the boat was_ also _called The Minnow,” Andy admitted sheepishly._

The rest of the group, upon catching up to them, opened their mouths to ask Andy more questions when an older man who appeared to be the small vessel’s captain appeared next to their boss.

“I take it that you are the Dunder Mifflin party,” the captain greeted them with a kind smile.

“That would be us,” Andy beamed, taking the man’s hands in his own and shaking them. “Thank you for lending us your fine boat, sir.”

“Lend you…?” the captain questioned wearily.

Andy continued, unbothered by the man's tone, “Sailing this thing, just the nine of us, is going to do wonders for our team building!”

“Great,” the old captain said strained, but too tired, after what seemed to be many years at sea, to argue.

Andy began to marvel at the boat, “This reminds me of my family’s boat. I never really got to sail that thing.” After a moment of thought, Andy turned to his subordinates. “Dwight! You know a thing or two about sails, right?” 

“Of course I do,” Dwight replied confidently.

_“What a stupid question,” Dwight told the cameras smugly. “I’m the top salesman at Dunder Mifflin, of course I ‘know a thing or two about sales.’”_

“Great! So do I!" Andy exclaimed. “So, I’ll be the Skipper and you’ll be my Gilligan. One of the perks of growing up with a family sailboat and going to a great school like Cornell is that I’ve had a _ton_ of opportunities to learn how to sail.”

“Ironic considering you’ve never made one,” Dwight remarked snidely under his breath.

“What was that?” Andy said, oblivious.

“Nothing!” Dwight replied in that fake-nice tone of his.

“Okay then,” Andy said suspiciously, but dismissed it quickly. “Let’s get this bad boy packed up and we’ll start sailing!”In all honesty, it wasn’t long until an argument broke out.

* * *

In all honesty, it wasn’t long until an argument broke out.

It wasn’t Kelly or Ryan, who were on one of their ‘off breaks’ where they were still being civil to one another and acting like friends. It wasn’t Jim or Dwight, who, spare some mild taunting, had not gotten to the point where they would incessantly mock or prank each other.

It was rather the third most likely option, Angela Martin who started complaining about various things like the weather, the sun, and Andy.

At one point, some water had splashed onto the deck, hitting Angela in the process. She shrieked as the cold water hit her, but slapped Dwight’s helping hand away.

“I don’t understand why we can’t just turn back,” a very wet Angela whined.

“Angela, this is a three hour tour,” Andy replied. “We’ve only been out here for a half an hour.”

Angela huffed and returned to her seat where Dwight tried to console her.

Pam leaned in and whispered to Jim, “I have a feeling that you’re going to be missing the cameras.”

“Why have a camera zoom in on me doing a weird face in reaction to something when I can just look at you and do the same thing?” Jim retorted, mimicking the face in question.

Pam burst out in a fit of giggles.

The next hour and a half was more or less uneventful . After playing various small games with Kelly on his BlackBerry, Ryan’s phone battery declined dangerously low. Creed, who had previously been wandering around the boat aimlessly, produced a pack of cards from his jacket pocket and challenged Ryan to a real game. This managed to rope in both Dwight and Jim into some sort of gambling game with the two (which didn’t involve real gambling for legal purposes, but since when did that matter?). Dwight ended up losing quickly; Creed, who had beaten Ryan five times within the first twenty minutes of them playing, had lost halfway through (though Pam suspected he grew bored and willingly gave up), leaving Jim and Ryan left in the game.

“You gonna give in now, Halpert?” Ryan teased, peering over his cards.

“Not a chance,” Jim retorted with a grin.

The game continued without a hitch. However, on another part of the boat, Andy started noticing something in the distance.

“Hey, Erin?” he called over his shoulder.

When she didn’t respond, Andy took a quick look at the deck and saw her chatting with Kelly. Dwight, who was supposed to be his first mate, however, was coming closer to where he was.

“Dwight?” Andy beckoned.

Dwight heard him and came over, “What’s going on?

Andy pointed out into the distance, “That’s not a good sign, is it?”

Dwight’s sights followed Andy’s direction as he saw large, dark grey clouds approaching in the distance, clawing their way across the waters.

“No, it isn’t,” Dwight replied, as the cloud briefly lit up and boomed in the distance. 

Andy knew that the storm clouds were coming for them and it was only a matter of time before they hit. “Do you think we can turn around and outrun them?” he asked frantically.

Dwight shook his head, “I don’t believe so, no. That storm’s going to hit us if we continue forward, but we’re too far from land to turn back.”

Andy put his face in his hands, “Oh god, Dwight, what are we going to do?”

“You need to tell them, Andy,” Dwight replied, putting a hand on Andy’s shoulder.

“I can’t just tell them that we’re going to end up in the eye of a hurricane!” Andy retorted in a panicked haze.

“It’s probably not a hurricane―”

“I’m speaking metaphorically, Dwight!”

“Well, you should definitely not tell them that we’re heading for a hurricane, because I am positive that is not what we’re heading towards,” Dwight said.

“Then what do you propose we tell them?” Andy snapped.

“You mean what do I propose that _you_ tell them,” Dwight countered.

Andy sighed in frustration, “Fine, I’ll just tell them and rip the Band-Aid off. Come on.”

Andy went a short distance to the part of the small boat’s deck where the majority of their co-workers resided. 

“Everyone, can I have your attention,” Andy called. 

Ryan and Jim looked up from their game and Pam up from watching it. Creed appeared out from the lower deck while Erin and Kelly stopped talking and looked at Andy.

Andy took a deep breath, “I regret to inform you all that―”

“We’re heading straight for a storm,” Dwight interjected. 

“Not cool, man!” Andy exclaimed in frustration, his head beginning to ache.

Jim shared shocked glances with both Ryan and Pam as their other co-workers elapsed into protests and shouts. Soon, the entire party was shouting over each other at Andy and Dwight, clearly and understandably frustrated by the news.

“Hey, hey!” Andy shouted over the small crowd. “I know this is a tense situation, but yelling at me isn’t going to fix anything!”

“Then what is, Andy?” Angela snapped.

“I don’t know,” Andy admitted in defeat. “We’re too far from shore to turn around and make it.”

Jim buried his head in his hands and Pam rubbed his back in an attempt to comfort him.

“Andy, what are we going to do?” Erin asked, timidly.

“The only thing we can do,” Andy replied. “We’re going to brace ourselves. We need to lower the antenna, put on our life vests, and make sure that all our supplies are locked up. I need you all to go below deck while Dwight and I keep the boat steady.”

“But, Andy―” Erin began to protest.

“Erin, below deck is the safest place for you all,” he assured her. “Someone needs to keep the boat afloat and under control.”

Erin looked over his shoulder and saw the storm quickly approaching . Her gaze returned to Andy as she nodded vigorously. As Erin returned to the others, Kelly wrapped a comforting arm around her and led her under the deck. Andy heard the soft click of the door’s lock before he turned to Dwight in urgency. 

The thunder boomed in the not-so-distant distance as Andy grabbed ahold of Dwight’s arm and led him around the boat, where they lowered the antenna. Andy then brought him over to the front of the deck, where he barked out urgent orders to Dwight as he desperately gripped the wheel. Dwight tried to follow Andy’s instructions the best he could through the cold, salty waves incessantly splashing him, loud surrounding noises, and his general lack of understanding about boats. Andy’s shouts only made matters worse. Unfortunately, Andy’s best attempts to steer the vessel were fruitless as the boat began to move back and forth viscously. 

“It’s no use!” Andy shouted at the top of his lungs to Dwight, hard rain drops hitting him incessantly. “Make sure your lifejacket is secure and grab onto something stable!” 

Dwight did so without protest, but something in the distance caught his attention as he went to grab a sturdy bench on the boat. He thought fleetingly that the distant silhouette resembled land. 

“Andy, look!” Dwight shouted back, releasing his left arm’s grip on the bench in order to point, but Andy didn’t hear him. His eyes were still glued to the ruthless sea in front of them as he tried to navigate through the rough storm.

Dwight made an attempt to come closer to Andy through the puddle filled deck before he realised that the nylon strap of his life jacket had gotten caught on something he could not identify through his water-filled glasses. He tried to yell over to Andy again, but he was thrown backwards, hitting the same bench he had previously been clinging to.

Andy’s head whipped back as he hollered something incoherent as if to check how Dwight was bearing. That was the last thing Dwight saw before his vision went black.


	2. Chapter 2

Dwight woke up to a splitting headache and mild back pains. The sun was bright and the weather was beautiful once again. He noted that none of the symptoms he had experienced with his last concussion were present now. 

Dwight unbuckled his life jacket and he stood up carefully, lightly stretching his muscles in hopes of helping his aching back. He was careful to avoid the remaining puddles as he peered over the railing; instead of seeing the salty ocean below, he saw the sand of a beach. Curious, Dwight cautiously hopped off of the boat and onto the beach below where he surveyed the area briefly; he gazed out at the tropical forest inward of the land, the untouched beach, and the vast ocean. There was no end in sight.

“Hey, Andy?” Dwight called, continuing to look around the area from his fixed spot. When he was met with silence, he repeated louder, “Andy!”

Andy, who had passed out a few feet away from the wheel, woke up suddenly. He picked himself up and looked around at the boat.

Dwight, unaware of this, called again, “Hey, Andy!”

Andy began to run around the boat in a panicked haze, “Oh my god! Man overboard!” Andy took a dive off of the stern, “I’ll save you, Dwight!”

Instead of landing in the water as he had expected to, Andy hit the sand below face down. He lifted his now sandy face up to see Dwight above him, “Dwight.”

“Andy,” Dwight greeted dryly. “The ship’s been beached.”

“Beached?” Andy replied in disbelief.

Dwight dismissed him, “When the storm was over and it was calm, you said we’d be home in no time.”

“It may take longer,” Andy admitted, standing up and brushing himself off with a pause. “When the others wake up, what are we going to tell them?”

“You’ll think of something,” Dwight replied, patting his back not-so-comfortingly as he made his way passed him.

Just as Dwight was about to survey the other side of the boat, the lower deck door unlocked and swung open; Erin led the rest of her co-workers outside.

“Andy?” she asked, upon seeing him. “Where are we?”

Andy looked around him quickly, “Well…”

“We’re not sure,” answered Dwight, “But it’s dry land.”

“What do you mean by you’re ‘not sure’?” Pam asked suspiciously as Jim placed a hand gently on her shoulder. Kelly and Ryan shared a worried glance as Creed continued to sleep soundly back in the lower deck.

“He means that we’ve Gilliganed ourselves,” Andy blurted in defeat.

“Which means…?” Angela demanded.

“We’re stranded on a desert island,” Erin conceded with sudden clarity.

Andy, unable to meet their eyes, only nodded.

“ _What?_ ” Pam gaped, sudden shock written clearly on her face.

Andy begged, “Hear me out―”

“No way…” Jim ran a hand through his hair in disbelief.

Needless to say, Ryan had to stop several of his co-workers from lunging at Andy.

* * *

_“Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip. That started from this tropic port, aboard this tiny ship. The mate was a mighty sailin’ man, the Skipper brave and sure. Nine passengers set sail that day for a three hour tour. A three hour tour. The weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed. If not for the courage of the fearless crew, the Minnow would be lost. The Minnow would be lost. The ship set ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle. With Dwight Schrute; the Skipper too; a paper salesman and his wife; an accountant and the rest. Here on―”_

“Would you _please_ shut up?” Angela barked, cutting Andy’s home-hitting parody off.

Andy shrunk out of embarrassment and remained silent. They all continued to sit in a small, spaced out circle on the beach in anything but comfortable silence.

“How are we going to get home?” Pam asked the group, bravely breaking the silence.

A shameful silence ensued.

“No one?” Pam said meekly, Jim pulling her closer in an attempt to comfort his wife.

Kelly spoke up next, filled with determination, “How long are we going to be stuck on this island?” She quickly added, “There’s a new episode of _Keeping Up with the Kardashians_ tonight and I did _not_ set up my TV to record it.”

“We don’t even know what _day_ it is anymore,” Ryan countered. He took a quick look at his dying phone, “We have more pressing matters than the Kardashians, Kelly. Like how we have _no_ service on this uncharted desert island.”

“Yes, because those are the worst of our concerns,” Pam imposed facetiously, her arms crossed defensively.

Ryan opened his mouth as if he were about to say something when Kelly blocked his view.

“Maybe not to you, Pam, but some of us have a life!”

Pam huffed in mock amusement at her sheer obliviousness. Turning to Jim, she said under her breath, “Suddenly I’m missing the cameras.”

“This is ridiculous!” Jim exclaimed protectively, standing up abruptly. “We have a _daughter_ at home that we need to get back to.”

“You think _you_ have problems?” Angela bit back. “At least Pam’s mother is taking care of your child; my poor cats have no one!”

Andy tried to interject, “Guys, I know this is a tense situation―”

“And _you_ ,” Angela hissed, turning on him. “You’re the reason we’re stuck here in the first place! If it weren’t for your incompetence―”

“Angela, look: I won’t deny my role in this turn of events,” conceded Andy. He turned in disappointment, “Dwight, you say that you knew a thing or two about sails.”

“Andy,” Dwight reassured, “Saying I know ‘a thing or two about sales’ is an understatement; I’m the top salesman at our branch.”

Jim gave Pam the look he usually reserved for the camera; Angela groaned and Andy cupped his face in his hands.

“That is totally irresponsible!” Kelly exclaimed. “If it weren’t for this misunderstanding, we might have been able to avoid that storm.”

“Or _someone_ could have checked the weather forecast before we set sail,” Angela offered in disdain.

Angela led yelling at Andy, with Kelly making some small additions to the fray; Jim and Pam started to freak out to themselves; Dwight stood, watching his sitting friends helplessly and Creed munched on a package of peanuts he found in the lower deck as he watched in interest.

Ryan stood up abruptly, “Enough!”

They all stopped their bickering and looked to him.

“I know we all have our own reasons for wanting to get home as soon as possible, but we have to focus on what’s happening here and now!” Ryan took a careful breath and continued calmly, “That means finding a way to sustain ourselves _here_ before we can figure out a way to get back _there_.”

Pam was the first to nod in agreement.

“We need to build shelter first and foremost,” Ryan said. “Like _Gilligan’s Island_.”

“Ryan’s right,” Andy agreed. “Our best bet is to sustain ourselves first.”

The other nodded in submission.

“Then it’s decided,” Dwight declared. “We’ll start building a shelter for all of us.”

“I’m not so sure about that,” Ryan insisted. When he was met with confusion, he clarified, “The idea of seven people sleeping in the same space was chaotic enough on _Gilligan’s Island_ . Imagine the anarchy nine people would wreck knowing it’s _us_.”

“So, how are we going to do this?” Andy inquired.

“We could separate it by gender,” Angela suggested with a shrug,

“No, that’s too demeaning,” Andy replied, crossing his arms, puzzled.

Angela rolled her eyes.

“Excuse me,” Jim interjected, “I would also like to, you know, stay with my wife?”  
  
Angela huffed.

“Not possible,” Dwight responded. “If we let you two stay in the same housing alone, we risk not only prematurely growing the population of this island, but minimizing out efficiency by having a pregnant woman.”

Pam sighed in frustration.

“Why don’t we do it like _Gilligan’s Island_ _?”_ Erin offered timidly.

“Intriguing…” Andy pondered, “Go on.”

“Well, the Howells were married and they got their own place; Mary-Ann and Ginger roomed together; the crew stuck together, and the Professor got his own quarters.”

“So, how can we apply that to our situation?” Jim inquired.

Erin thought for a moment. “Kelly and I can share a space like Mary-Ann and Ginger, since we get along really well. And Andy! Since you and Dwight get along the best with each other and you’re our crew, you guys should room together.”

Andy shrugged, “That seems fair. Although, I would argue that Dwight and I are the real Mary-Ann and Ginger of this group.”

“How’s that?” Erin asked.

Andy replied, “Dwight’s a beet farmer like how Mary-Ann was a Kansas farm girl, and I’m an actor and a singer―”

“Like Ginger was the movie star!” Erin finished excitedly.

“Exactly!” 

“And what about the rest of us?” Angela asked, bringing the conversation back to the matter at hand.

Erin grew red, “Well…”

“Angela can room with Erin and Kelly,” Ryan offered quickly.

“She will?” Erin and Kelly asked, turning to Ryan.

“I will?” Angela echoed.

“Sure,” Ryan replied. He began to pace, “Think about it: chances are, Erin and Kelly’s talkative nature is eventually going to piss _Angela_ off and Angela’s obsessive compulsion is going to drive _Erin and Kelly_ up the walls. You’re all likely to go through a small period where you can’t stand each other, but eventually that’s all going to blow over. Angela, the sheer force of both your and Kelly’s stubbornness clashing is going to lead to an eventual harmony.”

“Alright…” Angela trailed hesitantly, “I suppose that makes sense.”

“Ooh! Ooh!” Creed shouted. “Do me next, Temp!”

Ryan sighed at the old title, “Well now, uh, let’s see… you’ll have a place all to yourself, Creed,” he replied, sheepishly. “Like the Professor! Yeah… that sounds about right.”

“Nice,” Creed nodded before walking away.

“What about you, Ryan?” Andy asked.

“See, I'm going to do us all a favor and kill two birds with one stone,” replied Ryan.

“Easier said than done,” Dwight remarked.

“... So to speak.” Ryan conceded, “I’ll just stay with Jim and Pam; problem solved.”

“Wait,” Pam blurted.

“What?” Jim gaped.

“Look, I have nowhere else to stay,” Ryan explained. “Dwight and Andy worked their best alone together; I couldn’t possibly room with the girls―no offense; and Creed… is our _Professor_. Besides, none of them want you two staying alone together.”

“I thought that the Howells had their own place,” Jim countered.

“They did,” Andy answered, “But they were too old to reasonably reproduce, even if they wanted to.”

“Point is that _you two_ will get to stay together and everyone here will leave you alone about it since you’ll have some ‘supervision,’” Ryan continued. “And as long as I mind my own business, I have a nice place to stay.”

Pam sighed, “I suppose that’s fair.”

“Pam―” Jim blurted.

“Great, it’s decided then!” Andy exclaimed. “Now we just need to get ready for our first night. Which means we need to get some things covered.”

“Glad you’re finally being proactive, Andy,” remarked Ryan.

Andy beamed, “We have a couple of hours to spare before nightfall, so we can’t waste any time. We’ll focus our efforts today on getting a general understanding and set up for our accommodations here. Erin! You’ll stay here with Kelly and Creed. I need the three of you to take shifts between staying on the beach and looking through the outskirts of the forest to look for firewood; as long as one of you stays on the beach at all times, the rest of us will be able to find our way back. Tuna, I want you to go in just a little bit further―but not too far―and survey a small part of this island; be back before it gets dark. Angela and Dwight, you can go look around for various plants and animals that we could potentially use as food. Ryan and Pam, I’ll leave you two to search for supplies that we can use to build our shelters tomorrow. I’ll see what I can salvage from the ship and see what we can do to fix it.”

Erin started to make her way towards him, “Andy―”

“Alright, guys, let’s go!”


	3. Chapter 3

Pam strolled along the outskirts of the island’s forest, picking up tall, thin wooden planks as she went along. She tried to mentally note what items were used by the characters in _Gilligan’s Island_ so they could potentially test if they worked or if it was just another Hollywood trick. Ryan trailed a couple of feet behind her, picking up planks of wood that she didn’t notice and a few sturdy, abnormally large leaves. They both tried to ignore the awkward vibe between them that came with their silent working.

Eventually, Ryan picked up his pace and came up behind her with a friendly, almost boyish, awkward smile. 

“You know, if we really are going to be stuck here for a while… I think we’re all going to have to eventually reproduce in order to survive,” he hypothesized, sheepishly.

“Is that so?” Pam said in mock curiosity.

Ryan nodded.

“Well, I’m sure Kelly’s going to be _ecstatic_ to hear that offer from you,” Pam remarked, beginning to walk away from the conversation.

Ryan jogged to catch up with her, “I didn’t mean it like that, Pam!”

She stopped and turned around, good-naturedly, “Then how did you mean it?”

“Not like… _that_ ,” Ryan answered, sheepishly. For a moment, Pam was surprised how he could look so bashful and shy after making a comment like that; though, she supposed, it wasn’t the worst thing one of her co-workers had said to her.

“Oh please,” Pam said instead, slightly amused, “I’m sure you’ve made that offer to Erin already.”

“No, actually,” Ryan said as-a-matter-of-factly, “I haven’t.”

“Really?” Pam remarked, sarcastically flabbergasted. “You’re telling the truth?”

“I do that quite often and yet no one seems to believe me,” Ryan countered, almost hurt. _Almost._

“Uh-huh,” Pam continued moving. She had worked with Ryan for eight going on nine years now; she didn’t think he had a reputation as a liar and a player too, she _knew_ it.

“Wait!” Ryan exclaimed and she turned around. “What I’m trying to get at here is just some weird attempt to flirt by pretending to be some smartass, take-all, alpha male,” he admitted. “Which I’m not.”

Pam laughed slightly, “You’re only a smartass.”

“Bingo.”

“Ryan,” Pam started, figuring it would be more productive to be nice to him, “I’m flattered and all, but you know I’m married.”

“I know,” he replied.

“So you already _know_ that my answer is no,” she told him, gently.

“I figured,” Ryan conceded. “I’m just saying, Pam, that I know that your relationship with Jim is unbreakable and all that, but realistically, if we’re here for a long time, we can’t be picky. We’ll have to be more of an open… polyamorous society in order to sustain living.”

“ _‘An open polyamorous society’_?” Pam repeated in confusion.

“Yeah!” Ryan answered. “So, the theory is that―for example―if we were to be stuck here for a long time and you have another kid with Jim, Angela with Dwight, Erin with Andy―”

“―Kelly with you,” Pam finished.

“She’d like that, wouldn’t she?” Ryan replied, strained. “But for the sake of my point, sure, Kelly with me. If the pairings are all monogamous like that, eventually those four children will pair off and reproduce. And then _their_ children will reproduce with each other, and then that’s it. There are no more options; game over. But in _this_ theory, if each woman paired off with _two_ men―so, like, Angela and Erin with both Dwight and Andy, you with Jim―”

“―And yourself.”

Ryan blushed, “Yeah, like that―”

“But that would imply that both you and Jim would have to reproduce with Kelly,” Pam countered.

“Well, it’s not a perfect system,” Ryan replied, bashfully.

“Go on,” Pam insisted.

“Alright, so, if each woman had a child with two men, then that opens up more opportunities for more than just three generations of people living on this island and more _importantly_ , lessens the chances of potential incest or at the very least, dilutes it,” Ryan explained. "It expands the genes."

"Ryan, I already _have_ a daughter," Pam insisted, growing more and more panicked. "Jim and I need to get back to her as soon as humanly possible. _God,_ I just―I can't leave her behind, Ryan, I just can't―"

"I know," Ryan sympathized, softly. He approached her carefully, like he was going up to a wild deer. "Pam, we're going to get you and Jim home. We're going to get _all of us_ home, I promise. We just can't be reckless."

Pam nodded and rubbed her tearing eyes, "Okay. Okay, yeah, you're right."

"And I swear," Ryan continued sincerely, "That I will personally see to it that everyone here stays on track. The sooner we build the shelters, the sooner we can have more manpower working on getting us out of here. This is important to you and Jim and I'm sure everyone else; I am _determined_ to get us home."

Pam laughed, almost sadly, "Alright, Ryan, I get it. You're super determined to get us back." She quickly added, "Thanks."

Ryan shrugged humbly, "It's nothing, really. I have my mother to get back to anyway. I know that isn't as pressing as getting back to your daughter, but she took care of me a lot when no one else would, I just don't want to leave her behind."

Pam nodded sympathetically, "That's perfectly understandable that you would want to get back to her, Ryan. I'm not here to invalidate that."

"Thanks," Ryan replied quietly. After a moment, he spoke again, trying to lighten the mood, "Do you want to know the real reason why Oscar didn't come with us."

"Sure," Pam answered after a moment of thought.

"Matt's back in town."

“Matt’s back?” Pam repeated in surprise. “Is he trying to win him over or something?”

“Hopefully, if he doesn't chicken out this time,” Ryan answered with a knowing smirk.

“I can’t believe I’m missing that!” Pam exasperated, back to her normal self for a moment. “But Oscar being here wouldn’t help your ‘sustainable polyamorous society,' you know. I don’t think Oscar would even _want_ to contribute to it, even for the sake of a more diverse gene pool or whatever. That’s like asking you to have sex with Jim while we’re stranded here. It’s not productive to your ridiculous idea.”

“First of all, I'll have you know that I am well aware about how ridiculous and nonsensical my idea is. Seriously, I know absolutely nothing about science, I was making all of that up on the spot and I was probably wrong. Secondly, I wouldn’t be opposed to it,” Ryan admitted with a shrug. “Your husband’s kind of hot.”

“You can't be serious,” Pam mused, taken aback at that comment.

“Deadly,” Ryan smiled.

Pam thought for a moment, "Okay, I'll tell you want: I'll _consider_ your 'offer,' but only if you manage to get Jim to do it with you too," she joked. Pam wasn't really in a position where she _wanted_ to have this come to fruition―especially considering that only a few years ago she had made a similar 'pact' with Michael Scott with no intention of fulfilling it. But this version of Ryan Howard that she was talking to now seemed like a reasonable person who was up for a challenge; and _boy_ would her husband be a challenge for Ryan to convince. She added, "Consensually, of course."

“Of course.” Ryan extended his hand with an amused grin, “Alright, sounds like a deal.”

Pam took his hand and shook it.

Ryan looked around them as Pam tried to suppress another laugh at the utter ridiculousness of it all.

“We should head back,” Ryan suggested.

“You’re right,” Pam agreed. They stood there for a moment. “You know, Ryan,” Pam admitted, “You’re not such a bad guy after all.”  
  
“Right back at ya, Beesly,” Ryan mused with a joking wink.

They walked side by side this time as they began to make their way back to base.

“I just remembered something,” Pam said as they walked. “From _Gilligan’s Island_. They used some sort of liquid to make their shelters waterproof―I think it might have been coconut oil? Do you think that would work or is it a stupid idea?”

“Not at all,” Ryan reassured, “I think it’s a great idea―much better than _mine._ We should give it a try.”

Pam smiled softly, “Thanks, Ryan.”

She thought, fleetingly, that maybe Andy’s idea about team building wasn’t so bad after all.

* * *

Meanwhile, Erin and Kelly searched for firewood on the outskirts of the island forest, while on the onlooking beach, Creed was attempting to sunbathe.

“That’s… probably not a smart thing for him to do, is it?” Erin asked, peering at the beach with concern.

“He’s fine,” Kelly dismissed, “It’s not like he’d listen to us anyway. He’d probably just say he knew what he was doing.”

Erin shrugged. She knelt down to pick up some potential kindling.

Not long after, Jim came jogging through the forest.

“Hey, Jim!” Erin waved.

“Hey, Erin!” he greeted. “Kelly, you wouldn’t happen to know where I could find some sturdy wood, would you? I was hoping I could surprise Pam and Ryan by getting them some extra shelter supplies.”

Kelly nodded, “Yeah, there’s some wood over there,” she pointed a little further into the forest. “Creed and Erin got distracted and wandered off a little farther than they meant to during their shift. Creed said that there were caves over there and Erin saw a couple of logs and stuff a few yards away.”

“That’s great! Thanks, Kelly,” Jim said before waving them goodbye and jogging off into that direction.

“Anytime, Jim!” she called back as he left.

The girls returned to their search for firewood quietly.

“Hey, Kelly?” Erin said finally. “Can I talk to you about something?”

“Yeah, of course, Erin,” replied Kelly, preoccupied with picking up sticks. “What’s up?”

“So…” Erin thought for a moment, not really sure how to start this conversation. She opted to deflect instead, “You and Ryan―”

“Oh god, don’t get me _s_ _tarted_ ,” Kelly groaned, getting up from her place on the ground. “Like, yeah, he’s a good friend to me or whatever, but I am so _tired_ of this on-again-off-again bullshit. I know he isn’t _that_ into me, so why do we keep on doing this cycle of _he cheats, I give him an ultimatum, we break up, we’re friends, and he wants to get back to get and so do I, so we do_ thing? It’s so weird.” Upon noticing her friend’s shocked face, Kelly came to her senses. “Sorry, you said you had a question.”

“I actually didn’t say that, but I do, so thank you,” Erin replied quickly. “I don’t mean to be nosy and really, this is more to help me figure out my feelings than to mess with your own, but why _do_ you always go back to him?”

Kelly didn’t need to think, “Well, that’s easy. It’s because he’s my friend. As a couple, we’re _super_ toxic and manipulative of each other, but when we’re just friends, we help each other out and it’s fine. I guess that both of us think that once we’re able to get along as friends again that _maybe_ we could do better at being lovers,” she explained, quickly adding, “That’s never the case. It’s the same result each time.”

Erin nodded, listening intently. 

Kelly knelt down to meet Erin, putting a hand on her shoulder, “But I’m guessing you don’t want to talk about _Ryan_ , do you?”

Erin shook her head, “It’s Andy.”

“It always is.”

“I just can’t stand _not_ being with him, as pathetic as that sounds,” Erin admitted. “Next to you, he’s probably my best friend in our entire office and things have just been tense between us lately. I want to fix things, but he’s with Jessica now.”

“You can’t entirely blame him for that,” Kelly leveled with her. “ _You_ dumped _him_ for _Gabe_ of all people. I know he’s a bit more your age―though, let’s be real, Andy acts _exactly_ like you―but Andy’s right, Gabe is kind of weird.”

Erin laughed, “Yeah, you’re not wrong.”

“So, what is it that draws you to Andy so much?” Kelly inquired.

“Like I said, I feel like he’s one of my closest friends,” Erin replied. “We always get each other’s jokes, he’s a gentleman, and we help each other. I know all the little tricks to keep his anger from spiking and he knows how to calm me down whenever _I_ get upset from being over competitive. We balance each other out.”

“I do that with Ryan sometimes,” Kelly admitted, distractedly, stroking Erin’s shoulder comfortingly. “I always try to calm him down whenever one of his panic attacks is coming on. All I have to do is tell him how _smart_ and _amazing_ he is and he calms right down.”

“He doesn’t do anything for you in return?” Erin asked.

“Well, nothing _as_ important as panic attack control, since that’s pretty severe, but he does hype me up a lot. Usually when I have self esteem issues with my body or if I have a really big meeting or something,” Kelly said. “I don’t think anyone here would expect him to do that for me, but he does.”

“That really is kind of sweet,” Erin thought.

Kelly nodded, “But I know that you don’t want your relationship with Andy to be like my failed romantic one with Ryan.”

“Yeah,” Erin conceded, looking down.

Kelly lifted her head up, “Hey, it’s okay. I don’t want that for you either. But you have to talk to Andy.”

“I will,” Erin said with a definitive nod. “Are you going to talk to Ryan about what you told me?”

Kelly patted her head affectionately, “I will, but all in due time.”

The girls rose, helping each other up.

“Go to him,” Kelly insisted.

“Are you sure?” Erin asked uncertainly. “I mean, the firewood―”

“―Can wait,” Kelly told her. “I can take it from here.”

“Thank you, Kelly, thank you!” Erin exclaimed, wrapping Kelly in a tight hug. She began to run off, but not without bumping into an approaching Ryan first. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Ryan assured her and she ran off.

“Well, speak of the devil,” Kelly remarked with a grin.

“I thought I felt my ears burning,” Ryan mused, putting a hand to one of his ears.

“I thought you were with Pam?”

“I was, but I’m looking for Jim now,” he told her. “Besides, I wanted to talk to you.”

“Really?” Kelly asked.

“Yes, really,” Ryan answered. “Didn’t realize that it was out of the ordinary for me to want to see my best friend.”

Kelly laughed, “That usually means you want something.” Ryan may be considerate at times, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t still a smartass; she knew her best friend better than that. “What can I do for you?”

“It is not what you can do for me, it’s what _I_ can do for _you_ ,” Ryan proclaimed. “But seriously, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Okay,” Kelly replied, trying to not let him know exactly how curious she was.

He looked at her, suddenly serious, “Look, Kelly, I know that I haven’t always been the best to you and I can’t promise that whether we’re on or off that I’ll always be there, but… I want to. I can’t be there for you romantically or anything, because we both know that just doesn’t work out, but I want to be there for you someway.”

“What are you trying to get at, Ryan?” Kelly asked impatiently.

Ryan took a deep breath, “What I mean to say is that if we do end up stuck on this deserted island for a long time, I don’t want you to be lonely because I know how much you hate the thought of that. _If_ that does happen and _if_ you would like to, I'll have a kid with you. I can’t promise that I’ll be romantically involved with you, but I’ll help you with them and I’ll be there for you as a friend.”

Kelly felt overwhelmed, “You really mean it, Ryan?”

Ryan nodded, “Yeah, Kelly, I do.”

“Oh, Ryan, thank you!” she threw her arms around Ryan in a tight hug and kissed his check.

“No need to thank me, really,” he assured. “Well, actually, you can help me by telling me where Jim went off to.”

“Oh, him? He just passed by here before you showed up; he went down there,” Kelly told him, pointing in the same direction she had told Jim about. “He should be near those caves, so stop once you get by them.”

“Thanks, Kelly. I’ll see you in a bit, okay?” Ryan smiled.

Kelly nodded, “Yep! Good luck finding him.”

“Thanks, Kelly.”

* * *

“Andy?” 

Andy turned around suddenly from examining the large hole in the Minnow, “Erin? What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to see you,” Erin replied breathlessly.

“Couldn’t this wait until we were all supposed to meet back up?” he asked. “I mean, you’re supposed to be finding firewood with Creed and Kelly and I’m… trying to figure out how in the world this hole can be fixed.”

Erin shook her head, “No, Andy, this can’t wait.”

Andy nodded and put the tools in his hand down, “Okay, what’s up?”

Erin took a deep breath, “I was hurt when I found out about Jessica. I still am hurt, but now I kind of realize that I hurt you too by dating Gabe. That wasn’t fair to you and you have every right to move on, I get that. But, Andy, I still like you a lot and I know we never manage to get this right, but… I want to try. Because you get me more than anyone else and I just want my friend back.”

Andy nodded in understanding. He pondered, looking to the boat and then back to Erin. “I’d like to try again too,” he told her.

Erin grinned widely and tackled Andy happily in a hug. He hugged her back tightly and they laughed together.

“We have more time this time around,” Andy said softly into her hair as he continued to hug her. “We’ll figure it out this time, just you and me.”

Erin nodded happily, “Okay.”

* * *

After a short, but grueling search, Ryan eventually found the caves. However, when he got there, Jim was nowhere to be seen. 

“Jim?” Ryan called, turning around to look until he almost made himself dizzy.

“Hey, Ryan,” Jim approached him from behind a tree. “Sorry about that, I started to wander over that way before you came along.”

“It’s cool,” Ryan said, trying to balance himself on a rock.

“What are you doing here?” Jim asked, moving to catch Ryan when he let go of the rock and fumbled. “I thought you were finding materials for the shelters with Pam?”

Ryan stabled himself, nodding to Jim in thanks, “Yeah, I was. Pam and I found some good materials where we were. We were heading back when she remembered that they used some sort of solution to waterproof the buildings in _Gilligan’s Island._ So, she’s figuring that out while I look for larger materials for the shelters.”

“Cool,” Jim replied.

“Yeah.”

An uncomfortable silence washed over them.

“So, Jim,” Ryan blurted, “What's your stance on consensual polyamory?”

“Sorry, what?”

“You know, like―for example―” Ryan rambled, “What if Pam made a deal with someone that she’d consider having a child with them, but only if they managed to hook up with you too?”

Jim laughed in amusement, “How oddly specific. That’s a good one, Ryan.”

Ryan just looked at him, dumbfounded.

“Oh wait, you’re serious.” Jim took a breath, figuring it would help the effort getting home as soon as possible if he and Ryan weren't at odds constantly. “Ryan… you know I’m married, right?”

“Why do you both think that I don’t know you’re married?” Ryan gawked.

“What?”  
  
“What?” Ryan repeated. “Yes, Jim, I know you’re married. I was at your wedding, remember?”

“Right.”

“Right!” Ryan exclaimed. “So…?”

"I don't know; that's not something I usually think about," Jim responded obviously. He thought for a moment before saying, "I _guess_ that I would tell that person that they would have to impress me first," he replied with a shrug, not really sure about both his answer _and_ the conversation.

“I can do that,” Ryan replied. “I mean―I get that; I, uh, can get behind that.”

Jim sort of raised an eyebrow at him in confusion, "Great. Hey, I know some good places where you can find wood and other materials that would work for the shelter,” Jim smiled kindly. “How about I take you there and I can help you bring them back to base? I found this nice lagoon; we could take a quick swim on the way back if you’re up to it,” he offered.

“Yeah, sure,” Ryan replied, licking his lips like he usually does. “That would be great.”

* * *

Dwight sighed, standing up from his crouching position, “It’s no use. There’s no signs of animals anywhere on this island. At least in this area.”

“How is that possible?” Angela asked, struggling to hold all of the fruits she had picked up on their trek.

Dwight shrugged, “I’m not sure. Tomorrow I’ll investigate more of the island and see if there are any animals that we could use for meat.”

Angela nearly dropped one of the pineapples, “Do we _really_ need to eat animals? There’s plenty of fruits here.”

“Of course we need meat, Angela,” Dwight replied as-a-matter-of-factly. “I know _you_ won’t eat it, but the others and I all need our protein to keep up our strength.” Dwight eyed the fruits in Angela’s arms, “With the right soil, I think I’ll be able to make our own farm of these so we don’t run out.”

Angela held the fruits close to her, “And what will you do if you _do_ find them?’

“I’ll utilize my master hunting skills,” Dwight replied proudly. “I don’t have my usual equipment, but I should be able to make tools that would work just as well.”

Angela shook her head, unimpressed. “We should head back,” she suggested.

Dwight nodded. As Angela started to walk back, Dwight rushed over to her.

“Let me help you with some of those,” he insisted, cautiously.

A small smile crept onto Angela’s face as Dwight took half of the fruits into his own arms. “Thank you, Dwight.”

Dwight smiled.

As they began to walk, Dwight added hesitantly, “And, um, Monk―Angela?”

“Yes, Dwight?” Angela replied expectantly.

Dwight waited a moment, unsure of himself for once. “I’ve missed you,” he eventually admitted, softly.

Without looking around at her surroundings as she usually would, Angela immediately replied, “I’ve missed you too.”

The pair smiled dopily at each other for a moment before continuing their walk back. Until, of course, a familiar voice called after them.

“Dwight?”

Dwight’s eyes widened in realization. “No,” he breathed, whipping around.

Just as he had feared, the person he saw when he turned around was Jim Halpert. What he didn’t expect was to see his rival swimming in a lagoon of sorts and he _certainly_ did not expect to see him with Ryan Howard.

“What the _hell_ are you two doing here?” Dwight demanded in bewilderment. “Jim, you’re supposed to be surveying the island and―the Temp’s supposed to be with Pam!”

Ryan raised his index finger pointedly, “Actually, I’m not a temp―”

“No one asked you, Temp!”

Ryan shrugged and continued to wade in the dark lagoon.

“I was done surveying and _Ryan_ was looking for larger supplies while Pam tested a waterproofing theory,” Jim answered simply. “I suggested to him that I help him take the materials back to base and we take a quick dip in this place. It’s neat, right? I found it in the first fifteen minutes of surveying―”

Dwight cut him off, suspiciously, “Then where are these materials?”

Jim gestured over to a noticeably large palm tree next to the lagoon that was far enough away to ensure that the logs stayed dry.

“Oh.”

Jim nodded, “Yeah.”

Dwight looked between Angela and Jim before he sighed in defeat, “Just don’t be late. I’m sure the others are already waiting for us.”

Jim saluted, causing Ryan to laugh slightly, “Aye aye, captain!’’

Dwight sighed and turned around again. “I am so sorry about that,” Dwight whispered to Angela.

“It’s okay,” she said quietly back. “They can’t be helped.”

Dwight smiled at her admirably and nodded, “That’s for sure.”


	4. Chapter 4

Nightfall soon approached following the castaway’s reunion. With the materials they had all gathered, the nine co-workers were able to sustain themselves that night and prepare for the next day’s work. Since Dwight had detected no identification that there were animals on this side of the idea and that the weather was satisfactory (at least in farming standards, he said), the group should be able to rest with little danger or intrusion. 

Andy made a nice fire using the materials Erin and Kelly found, but not before Creed joked that Ryan should be in charge of that.

“Ha ha,” Ryan said sarcastically, “Very funny.”

Jim helped Pam and Ryan set up their shelter materials in a spot that was far enough away from the ocean to keep them dry. Pam told them both excitedly about the solution she was trying to make and how she was testing her theory on various small woods and Kelly’s cellphone.

Dwight helped Angela make a decent dinner for everyone using some of the various fruits they had gathered and, experimentally, the fire. The nine co-workers assumed their places in a circle around the fire to eat. Pam and Jim sat side by side with Ryan joining them with Kelly by his; Erin sat between Kelly and Andy, who sat beside Dwight and Angela; Creed was settled next to Angela, who had to stop him repeatedly from trying to touch the fire. They all ate in peaceful, comfortable silence for a while, until Angela spoke up.

“I still don’t understand why we’re here in the first place,” she remarked, less snappish now. It was more of a statement rathe than an accusation.

“This was supposed to be a fun Millennial getaway to build our teamwork and overall relationship with one another,” Andy sighed.

“That’s great, Andy,” Jim said, good-naturedly, “Except for the fact that you’re not a Millennial."

“I’m not?” Andy asked in surprise.

Jim shook his head, “No.”

“Then what am I?” Andy looked around at everyone, lost.

“You were born in 1975, so that makes you a part of Generation X,” Pam told him.

“And what exactly is this ‘Generation X’?” Dwight asked, suspiciously.

Angela looked at Dwight and then the others, unsure of it herself.

“There’s a lot of debate on when specific generations start and end, but the basic time frame for Gen X is from 1965 to 1980,” Ryan explained. “The Millennial age range is only from 1981 to around 1997.”

Pam nodded, “Erin and Gabe are actually the only Millennials in the office.”

“Wait, but surely _Kelly and Ryan_ are Millennials,” Andy remarked, flabbergasted. “I mean, they’re so tech-savvy and into pop culture.”

“Believe it or not, I'm actually a part of the same generation as you,” Ryan volunteered. “Pam and I were born the same year: 1979. Kelly was born only a year later, which still makes her Gen X.”

“Wait, but―” Andy stuttered, “What about Oscar and Kevin?”

“Still Gen X,” Jim replied.

Ryan’s head perked up, “Hey, Creed?”

“Yeah, Temp?” Creed looked up from his food.

“What year were you born?” Ryan inquired.

“1925!” Creed replied. “But you can’t prove it!”

“So what generation does that make you?” Andy asked, still lost.

“Silent Generation, baby!” Creed answered.

“Actually, that would make you a part of the Greatest Generation,” Ryan corrected.

“Sweet!” exclaimed Creed excitedly, returning to his food.

“They’re also called the G.I. Generation because of their involvement in World War Two,” Jim added.

“Right,” Ryan agreed. “They weren’t actually that great. Their world was that of the transition to traditional living to urbanism, but one third of the population still worked on farms. They were also more likely to suffer from undiagnosed PTSD from the war because their understanding of mental health was so shitty. A lot of things were misinterpreted as mental disorders while other things were brushed off.”

“Color me impressed, Ryan,” Jim grinned.

Ryan cleared his throat, covering up an oncoming blush with his hand.

“How _did_ you avoid getting drafted, Creed?” Pam inquired.

Creed leaned forward, “You know how with the Vietnam War, they refused to draft people with criminal records?”

“Yeah?” Pam answered, confused.

“I was kind of like that,” Creed replied. He stood up and walked away, munching on the rest of his food.

Pam gaped and so did Andy.

“Is there anything else about generations that I don’t know about?” Andy asked, completely dismissing Creed’s comment.

“Probably,” Kelly remarked, having a piece of pineapple.

“Michael and Phyllis are actually a part of Gen X too,” Ryan replied.

Andy’s eyes went wide, “My whole life is a lie.”

The seven other co-workers burst into laughter, even Angela and Dwight joined in. 

The laughter eventually simmered down, a silence among the group taking its place. Only the sounds of the waves lapping onto the beach and the faintest of cricket chirps could be heard until someone decided to speak up.

 _“So this is the tale of our castaways, they’re here for a long, long time,”_ Erin sang quietly.

Andy looked to her in pleasant surprise. He smiled and chimed in, _“They’ll have to make the best of things, it’s an uphill climb.”_

Erin grinned back at him and grew a bit more confident, _“The first mate and his Skipper too will do their very best.”_

 _“To make the others comfortable in their tropic island nest,”_ Andy sang.

 _“No phone!”_ Pam joined.

 _“No lights!”_ Ryan chimed.

 _“No motor car!”_ Kelly and Angela said in unison. Angela to giggle in surprise; Dwight looked at her lovingly.

 _“Not a single luxury,”_ Pam and Ryan continued.

 _“Like Robinson Crusoe,”_ added Jim, _“It’s primitive as can be.”_

 _“So join us here each week, my friends; you’re sure to get a smile,”_ sang Erin.

 _“From nine stranded castaways―”_ Andy paused, puzzled, “―Wait.”

“What is it?” Erin asked in concern.

“We don’t have an official Gilligan yet,” Andy replied in realisation.

“Well, Dwight was, like, your first mate, so wouldn’t he be your Gilligan?” Kelly offered.

Dwight looked up, suddenly paying attention to the conversation for the first time since Angela’s giggle.

“Yeah, you’re right!” Andy exclaimed. He turned to face him, “Dwight?”

“Yes, Andy?” Dwight answered.

“Do you accept the role of being my first mate and our Gilligan?” Andy asked, all official-like.

After a moment, Dwight replied with a nod, “I accept.”

Andy beamed, “Alright!"

Pam cheered as Ryan and Jim clapped approvingly. Creed suddenly appeared again and clapped along, not knowing what the clapping was about in the first place, but happy to participate. Angela smiled fondly at Dwight, slipping her arm through Dwight’s arm, who took it acceptingly.

 _“From_ ―” Andy stopped again, mumbling to himself in thought. “Okay, I think I figured out the syllables.” He took a breath.

_“From nine stranded castaways, here on Dwight Schrute’s isle!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you made it this far, thanks for reading! If you liked this, please leave a kudos down below. I appreciate feedback, but please keep it constructive/positive.   
> I understand some of the concerns with how out of character this may be for some, but as said in the tags, this is meant to be a crack fic treated seriously. It's just for fun and the people who like these pairings/friendships.


End file.
